Sleeping out of sinc

Before we left for Hawaii Maycen was sleeping through the night, she would go down with a late night feed at 10 or 11 and wake up around 6 or 7 am then go back down for three or four more hours after an AM feed. Now we are trying to move her night feed up to 9pm but she is waking at 4am, I even tried to wake her at 11 for a late night feed thinking she surely would sleep till 7 or 8 am and she woke last night at 3:30 am. So I decided not to give in and feed her, I know she can go longer and after quite a bit of protest I got her swaddled back up and calm and after a painful 20 minutes of fussing she went back to sleep and stirred at 6:30am. I fed her then, My goodness what a heart breaker. I still am feeling bad about it today. So I guess this is our first mother daughter fight. Even though I technically won the argument I sure don't feel like a winner. How can something so little make you feel so bad and why do I have so many emotions attached to withholding a feed from her. I know if I continue to feed her at all hours of the night her tummy and body will get programmed to wake for a night feed but then you get so many other parenting theories that if you don't respond to your baby you will not build their trust and she is crying because she is trying to tell you something. I always want to do what is best for her and she is gaining weight appropriately so I should not worry but goodness rationalizing all these theories sure doesn't make me feel any better that she is crying for me to feed her and I didn't.