Be the change you wish to see (Paraphrased Ghandi) ...“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.”(Ghandi)
We all know the issues, it comes up everytime something horrible happens now we can't turn our backs we have to do something! Desensitized from violence, gun control, violence towards woman and children, abuse and neglect, mental health issues and access.
You can blame it on things like gun control issues, drugs or video games but really it is humanity, Locking up all the guns is not the answer and giving guns to everyone isn't really either but at least you could go down with a fight then. Not to point fingers, but I honestly am frustrated with the men in this country and I have to say I am not a normally a feminist but the majority of young men these days seem to fit the stereotype of video game playing drones. Luckily, I found a good man in my husband and there are many good men like him out there. And although my spouse is not a gamer, I know many men that play occasional games and are of sound mind, well mostly:) Working at a military hospital and being military I am familiar with the 15- 30 year old male population on post. Many soldiers play hours on end of these war video games, where they are killing people. It seems harmless, but it is so realistic. In fact the military even uses computer games to simulate and practice their war techniques. I often wonder what impact sitting in front of a computer or video game playing for hours of killing people and battling does to a person. Even more so while drinking or doing drugs. I would think it would desensitize people from the reality of what it is they are really doing. Some of these video game, are so violent they encourage not only shooting, but rape.
People are impacted by what they see everyday on TV. My daughter 2 years old after watching a day of harmless football with Dad began pretending she was "shooting up" the bad people that were getting away in the car. It took me a while to figure it out till I was off the next Sunday and the ad for the video game for Grand Theft Auto and PS2 came on a few times and my daughter said something about it again. A 30 sec video which was a bit graphic played to the stereotype it feed; men that watch football, apparently tend to also play a lot of video games.
Article: Guns don't kill people video gamers do.
I have trouble sleeping and play back in my mind images I imagine when ever we have a sad case at work or I hear a story like this that just goes to your gut. A while back, there was a story about a teen girl who shared her story of her father abusing her since age 3 and selling her for sex acts for drugs. This story still haunts me at night, I actually woke up hearing a child screaming after I heard this story. I can't imagine why no one stood up for this child. Yes, there were men and woman involved and she stated many were on drugs. But sadly this is happening everyday. There are organizations about trafficking people and this is exactly the thing that is happening primarily to children and woman. again, might I ask what is wrong with men in this world!
Now I am not saying woman are not innocent, a lot of physical abuse in children especially, is woman and you always hear those sad stories of a mother driving her kids into a pond and killing them all. But I am most concerned with the men. If you look at almost any you tube video, it can be as harmless as a video of a concerned parent posting a question about their kid. Many responses are of bored males leaving inappropriate and hateful comments. I just don't get it, why and who has that much time to be doing that.
Why does Christmas seem to bring out these evil deeds in full force? Well some thoughts are that not everyone has a happy home life and maybe all the hype over being joyful and happy causes people to be angry with their childhood or the situation they are in. Parents that tend to abuse their children may be stressed. There is more drinking and drug use during the Holiday time as well. Winter is also in full force so people that are depressed are at a greater risk for having trouble with depression.
I hear people say its a sign of the times. But I don't really believe this, bad things have always been happening, people tend to look over their shoulders when it is in context. Think of all the world wars. Many war techniques included bombing innocent people and raping woman and children senselessly. Priest and Boy Scout leaders have been doing horrible thing to children for years. Again, men, Sorry to say.
I am a bit paranoid from all the media and horrible things out there. But it is sad that I don't want the UPS guy that bring great presents to know that a nice girl and her two kids live here...have you seen the movie Law abiding citizen, it made me puke and a similar situation actually did happen to another family.
I am not saying that we don't need to look at woman too. There are enough crazy woman in the world. Woman that bring to life so many unwanted births, mothering children they didn't want or giving them to foster care and we wonder why children have issues. But when you look at the things happening in this life you do have to wonder. I can desensitize myself from all the bad things I have to see and do at work everyday. From news for parents that just want a healthy kid that their new baby has Cancer to the room next door where the child has been beaten and bruised from their own parents. But then to come home and have the rest of the world fall apart it really is too much. I asked my husband why doesn't this news bother
you like it bothers me? It's not that he isn't saddened and equally upset by this as I am, because he is. Although his mathematical solution to make me feel better by pointing out how rare the possibility that this happens still does nothing to calm my fears. Why do I imagine those little kids that watched Polar Express the night before daydreaming of all their Christmas hopes in class to watch in horror as their teacher and their little friends get shot one by one. I can't imagine. Just the loud noise of a truck startles my daughter to cover her ears. The horror on their faces is so tragic. Maybe that is why the majority of the News that reported on the story were male reporter. Not that this was easy for them as you can see, people like President Obama clearly disturbed my this horrible thing. But my husbands response is that he tries not to think about it. He doesn't dwell on it. Maybe that right there is the problem, so we do we just go on. Wake up the next day and continue on, turn our cheek and hide our children from the news. Are we protecting them by doing this?
My last thought since I am putting it all out there, is in relation to the Internet. Again, I am going to talk to the men here. Internet Porn. There is a big difference between what women read from Shades of Gray to what type of horrible sex acts you can easily google. Obviously, there is an audience that enjoys watching the very graphic bandaging of woman and children, not just almost 18 years olds. This goes back to the trafficking of people. These extreme videos are not all just actors, these are people, often in sex rings. I am not talking about regular pornographic filming, bondage and safe play is one thing but no woman in their right mind enjoys being brutally attacked during sex acts. If people fantasise and watch this over and over just like the video games they will see it and think it is OK to do this to someone. This is all available at the click of a hand.
Mental illness, this is becoming a catch all. Since when did taking anti depressants make people not responsible for their actions. People have said there must be signs and red flags. The thing is there are red flags! I work with some people that are clearly teetering on this line daily, Co-workers and parents of patients, military wives and soldiers that are sick of the system. But there are so many people that with just a push seem to be showing those red flags but really it has to be with in each person to make the choice to act right, to be a good person and to do the right things and expect it of others, no demand it!
I have never been a proponent of guns but honestly I feel safer with the idea of trained people of sound mind cleared and trained to carry their weapon being at the mall or store with them then hoping that someone will not decide to shoot up a gun free zone where no one can defend themselves. Have you noticed that most mas shootings occur in gun free zones like malls and schools. Most people would not even attempt to do something if they knew they would be killed before attempting to do anything. It would just be a waste of time.
http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2012/07/mass-shootings-map
For you men out there that are feeling bashed, my apologies and if you are taking the time to read this then you are likely not one of the problem but hopefully one of the solutions to making this world a better place.
Children In Church: Nurturing Hearts of
Worship by Curt and Sandra Lovelace being published by
Raising Real
Men.
Isn't it sad that someone out there is thinking now I have to think of something even worse to top this horrible event, the sad thing is it is true!
Again, I just can't imagine and pray I never have to. That last night those parents had to tuck in their kids, did they yell at their kid to hurry up, no not one one book, were they running late that morning and were frustrated with their kids for taking too long. Thank the lord for teachers. That one teacher that saved her children in the bathroom and told them all that she loved them because that is the last thing she wanted them to know. And why are we paying so called sport heroes more than her is beyond me?
These thoughts are my own very personal feeling. Writing them is how I process the horrible events that have happened. You may not agree with me but please instead of writing hurtful comments with an angry heart about why I feel the way I do write a comment that suggest a solution to the problems we are facing as a country, as a world.
http://hugskissesandsnot.com/2013/01/10/a-disciples-of-christ-ministers-response-to-sandy-hook/
http://hugskissesandsnot.com/2013/01/04/grace-and-parenting-after-sandy-hook/
We had my Mom and Jared's family out here in Novemember to see the kids. We had good turkey and lots of crabbing, one of our favorite things about the pacific NW. 
